It's perfect.
It's unbelievable.
It's a miracle
It's a TV dinner.
It's Fuwjax.

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Rupert A. Murdoch lived on a beach
Along a long cliff within easy reach
Of a towering tower whose windows would see
Across the cliff and the beach to the deeply blue sea

Rupert B. Murdoch was a quiet old gus
Who never did make too much of a fuss
He lived simple and free each and all of his days
On the sands of the beach where he soaked the sun’s rays

Rupert C. Murdoch sounds such a great guy
If you’d known nothing more to judge this one by
You’d think he had friends by the bundle to spare
Up the towering tower they’d stack in the air

Rupert D. Murdoch would agree with the claim
That he should have buckets of friends to his name
But he didn’t have buckets or bundles or bunches
He ate by himself all his breakfasts and lunches

Rupert E. Murdoch had a secret you see
And that secret he kept, just between you and me
All to himself, it consumed him until
It had robbed him all his confidence and will

Rupert F. Murdoch wanted only to hide
From the people who picked and who poked and who pried
Into bits of his life he wished would wisp far away
From the bits of his life he had on the beach where he lay

Rupert G. Murdoch had a secret it’s true
But some secrets aren’t secrets except only to you
And the secret he kept and lived secretly in fear
Was the world would discover he was secretly… a reindeer

Rupert H. Murdoch lived in terror no doubt
But why would a reindeer hide and never come out?
Surely reindeers have fun, why they have their own games
They have roles in big holidays and they have funny names

Rupert I. Murdoch had a problem it seems
A reindeer means more than having wintery dreams
He knew that he should, he tried all he could try
But are you even a reindeer if you never could fly?

Rupert J. Murdoch never did soar
He barely could jump, his hooves stayed on the floor
He couldn’t play in the games or help with the sleigh
In the stable alone he spent each holiday

Rupert K. Murdoch ran away to the shore
Far away from the others who thought him a bore
He sat all alone and stared at the waves
Head-In-the-Sand was the game he would play

Rupert L. Murdoch was not completely alone
In the towering tower on an ivory throne
Sat another who sat by herself all day long
As she stared at the sea and sang softly a song

Rupert M. Murdoch heard the song every day
And the song when sung melted his troubles away
The song made a part of him feel it could fly
And that part of him really wanted to try

Rupert N. Murdoch was a dreamer who dreamed
Better versions of him whose own selves he esteemed
Reindeers who knew only to do or to die
Who never had learned a definition for “try”

Rupert O. Murdoch was dreaming one day
Of holiday games even he could play
Mid-dream on the beach he started to choke
And quickly he realized he did not dream the smoke

Rupert P. Murdoch looked left and then right
He looked for a flame or a plume or a light
He looked down the beach for signs of a fire
His heart hit his throat as his eyes passed the spire

Rupert Q. Murdoch spied the towering tower
Engulfed in flames as though burning for hours
“Perhaps it’s ok, perhaps it was planned
Perhaps it’s just…” a soft cry pierced the land

Rupert R. Murdoch took off in a blink
He ran up the beach, scaled the cliff in a wink
To the tower he ran then he stopped at the base
Knowing what he must do, a firm look crossed his face

Rupert S. Murdoch shut his eyes really tight
Bent his knees to the ground, turned his head to the right
Stuck his tongue out his mouth, mumbled “fly Rupert fly”
He lept in the air with his nose to the sky

Rupert T. Murdoch could be a great many things
A lovable guy, a smithy of rings
A tamer of lions, an advisor to kings
But he could not fly if he’d been born with wings

Rupert U. Murdoch hung his head in disgust
He knew he should fly, he knew that he must
He stood there in shame, as the smoke swirled around
Then the soft cry rang out and his courage he found

Rupert V. Murdoch broke down the door
He raced for the steps, he raced up the floors
He raced ever higher, he raced to the top
He raced and he raced and he never once stopped

Rupert W Murdoch climbed the towering tower
The throne room he found with his newly found power
She sat on the throne beautiful, scared, and alone
Flames crept slowly closer, the roof started to groan

Rupert X. Murdoch knelt down by her side
The tears left her eyes as her eyes opened wide
To be offered escape, a surprise in itself
she climbed on his back smiling “I feel like an elf”

Rupert Y. Murdoch went to head down the stairs
But before he could start, a sudden change of affairs
The stairs had collapsed, no way out could he see
But the window overlooking the deeply blue sea

Rupert Z. Murdoch had no options left
No time to think, no time to rest
No time to plan, no time to try
No time to prepare, it was his time to…

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